Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.
Author’s notes: This was inspired by one of the “fics” I wrote for the 10fics_10words challenge. AU, I suppose because it has John and Teyla together after the series finale. As always, I would love to know what you think. :D :D

John was a dead man.

Over the years, his life had been in jeopardy, but this time was different. Tonight, he truly feared for his life.

He entered his apartment cautiously. The room was dark, except for one tiny light in the corner. As he passed Torren sleeping in the crib, he envied the toddler. He had no idea of the danger John was in.

Maybe, he thought as he walked into the next room, he would be able to survive the night. Just then, the light came on.

Busted.

John looked up and saw Teyla, crossing her arms. “Welcome back,” she said deceptively calm.

Great. She knew exactly what happened. He flashed his most charming grin. “You’re beautiful.”

“You’re still in trouble,” she said.

Full cooperation was the only option he had left. Maybe then, she would spare his life. “It wasn’t my fault! Rodney wanted one last crazy night as a bachelor. And the strippers weren’t my idea either! I had no idea they were coming!” he sputtered.

“And?”

“Look…the mud wrestling tournament was Ronon’s idea. He said it reminded him of something they use to do on Sateda,” he shrugged. “I didn’t want to ask.”

“Is that all?”

John sighed. He couldn‘t hide anything from her. “There might have been an illegal copy of the Transformers movie, but what kind of guy could turn down seeing cars turn into robots?”

He frowned. “How did you know?”

Teyla smiled triumphantly. “I didn’t. Jennifer told me to make you think I was angry at you and we would find out what really happened tonight.”

John swallowed nervously.

Rodney was so going to kill him.