Rating: S for Squeaky
Category: Sappiness is a category, right?
Fandom: Tangled
Characters: Eugene/Rapunzel
Summary: If Blondie didn’t think they were charming, how in the world could he compare? Thieving and running from the law didn’t seem like Charming attributes to him.
Author's Notes: This is totally and completely inspired by my fellow Tangled!fangirl, just_a_dram who is awesomely awesome in her Tangled!awesomeness.

"I’ve been reading today."

Eugene turned towards Rapunzel, who had found him in the middle of the palace's main court. Her lips were turned down in an uncharacteristic frown. He wondered what, exactly, she could have read to put her in such a mood. "Oh really?" he asked as he leaned against the tall court wall.

She nodded. "The Queen--I mean, Mother encouraged me to read some books about the surrounding kingdoms. There was Princess Cinderella...and Princess Aurora...and, of course, the recently crowned Princess Belle."

A sinking feeling settled in the pit of Eugene's stomach. Though Rapunzel seemed ignorant of the queen's true motives, he was not foolish. He knew exactly why she requested Rapunzel to read those books. She wanted her daughter to find her own Prince Charming.

And that, decidedly, was not Eugene Fitzherbert.

The king and queen were grateful to him, of course. Rapunzel's recount of what happened after he escaped the royal guard, combined with Maximus' passionate head nodding, had convinced them to give Flynn Rider a full pardon for his past crimes.

That, however, did not mean they wanted him as a future son-in-law.

"So," he said, careful to keep his voice even, "what did you think?"

"The princes didn't seem particularly charming," she sighed. The frown was back. She plucked an innocent flower and twirled it in her fingers.

"They didn't?" Eugene sputtered. The well-known princes were always seen as role models by the young boys--even orphans--in the area. If Blondie didn't think they were charming, how in the world could he compare? Thieving and running from the law didn't seem like Charming attributes to him.

She shook her head. "What's charming about a prince that doesn't chase after the woman he loves when she dropped her shoe?" She faced him and smiled widely. "You're always looking after my frying pan."

Eugene felt a smile tug on his lips. Despite living in the castle with dozen of palace guards at her disposal, Blondie still insisted on bringing her frying pan with her in her room every night.

"Plus, you had thugs, not faeries, break you out of prison," Rapunzel added with an impish grin.

Well, that was definitely more manly, Eugene conceded.

"And," she continued, "none of them ever sang and danced the way you did!"

She was never going to forget that, was she? Though his dream was significantly different than what it was when they had stepped inside the Snuggly Duckling nearly a month before. Not that anyone but Blondie needed to know. Eugene was slowly adjusting to the idea of being a sap.

"So," Eugene said, draping an arm over the castle wall, "no Prince Charming for the Lost Princess?"

She scrunched up her nose. "No. They don't even let the Princesses save them! They aren't like you, Eugene. I rescued you from Hookhand and the others at the Snuggly Duckling...and my hair helped us to escape in the cave where we almost drowned. Not to mention when Max started dragging you away on the morning of my birthday--"

"I get the point, Blondie." Embarrassment and annoyance decided to make an appearance. Yes, she had saved him, in more ways than one, but his ego didn't like to be reminded of just how he much he relied on her.

She leaned her head against his chest. "We save each other, Eugene."

All traces of ire melted away at her simple statement, wrapped in a voice of innocent honesty. He let his arm fall from the top of the wall and wrap around her. She smelled like sunshine and hope, a still-unfamiliar combination after he had spent so long hiding in the shadows, looking for his elusive happiness.

No, he would never be Prince Charming.

But he was alright with that.

"Besides," she said, not lifting her head from its position, "none of them can smolder the way you can."

A cocky grin spread over his face. He knew it. No one could resist the smolder.

Not even a lost princess with a frying pan and a frog.